This post is a bit more honest than even I normally put out there – and I’m fairly blunt about things.
The other evening I was having one of those elderly – “let’s be up in the middle of the night for no good reason” moments. But this time I did have a good reason. My faith was under attack, as it has been for some time, but this time we were going to have a “Come to Jesus Meeting”.
As to what that phrase means I think The Free Dictionary does a good job explaining it.
- A point in time in which fundamental priorities and/or beliefs are challenged, reassessed, or reaffirmed
- Any moment or meeting in which a frank, often unpleasant, conversation is held so as to bring to light and/or resolve some issue at hand.
In my case both of those explanations were painfully true.
Having one’s faith challenged or having moments of doubt are nothing new or unheard of for a believer. Given the current societal attitudes in this country, when it comes to Christianity, Satan (and yes I believe in him) is having a field day sowing doubt among the faithful. And while it was easy to write that last sentence and thereby sound as if I’m discounting my wavering faith as if it were inconsequential, that is far from the truth. I have been a Christian since July of 1986. For a large part of those 31 years I have taught high school Sunday School. I have been a Deacon and an Elder at my church. People read this blog and about the health struggles I’ve battled for the past 4 years and tell me how “inspirational my faith” has been to them. I’m sure you can imagine how difficult that is to hear when the truth is you feel like nothing more than a raging hypocrite.
So when my Lord came calling at 4am the other morning He wasn’t going to let me dodge the conversation – there would be no walking out of this meeting. There would be no denying who I had professed being for the past 31 years without explaining it to Him – not this time. No, Jesus wasn’t letting me go until I denied all the truths I had been teaching all these years. He demanded I deny Him.
Instead I found myself going through every foundational truth I know I believe.
- The veracity of the Bible. The fact that the Old Testament points to the New Testament and that the entire Bible points to Jesus Christ as the being Savior of the World.
- Creation. Whether you believe in an “Old Earth” or “Six Days”, nothing but God explains the existence of this reality.
- Man’s fallen nature (sin) and our inability to do anything about it. Like a dead man there is nothing I can do to save myself.
- Only Christ. There is no other way by which we can be saved from eternal death. Our best works are nothing but dirty rags.
- Christ as Savior. Our salvation hangs on nothing more and nothing less than believing in Christ’s atoning sacrife. We can’t add to it and when we try we are actually rejecting His free gift.
I’m sure there was more – it was a long conversation – but those are the main points I recall. I know they won’t mean much to a non-Christian. To my fellow believers, please understand each of those points were lengthy, tear filled, reminders of what I’ve known all along to be true – if only I’d listened. When I finally stopped paying attention to
this world Satan and instead conversed with my Lord, the truth came flooding back as through a fog.
It’s sad how many times over the years I’ve come to realize I fail to follow my own advice. Often to my own detriment. For years I’ve told fellow Christians to look back to what brought them to Christ in the first place, especially when they find themselves struggling with their faith. Like an obstinate mule it all too often takes a baseball bat upside my head to get me to pay attention. Thank God the Holy Spirit has in his arsenal one of the biggest bats in the world.
While you can certainly continue to pray for my health (I hope to be around for a long time still),of far greater importance to me is my continuing faith. My greatest desire is to finish this race faithful to the end.
Your friend – an incredible sinner,